Hard To Hear
by mirrornvrlies
Summary: Santana and Brittany go through a hard time with their 'soon to be in college' daughter Lexi. No pregnancy, violence or self harm. Simply a case of think before you speak. *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1**

"_Oh why don't cha come over Vaaaalerie!"_ Santana sang as loud as possible while she chopped up all the veg for the family stirfry tonight.

She shook her head at the word family, if you'd have told her seventeen year old self that in a few short years she and Brittany would be married (with an awesome sex life) and an eighteen year old daughter about to pick a college she would have slushied them a thousand and one times.

Her daughter's bedroom door slamming and said daughter stomping down the hall and into the kitchen family room (basically an extra lounge with a large kitchen attached) brought Santana back to earth and the onion in front of her.

"Mami!" The beautiful young blonde shouted as she walked in. "Why can't you just accept that I'm going to State?"

"Because Lexi. You got into your dream school why would you want to give that up?" Santana knew exactly why. She and Brittany had overheard a telephone conversation between Lexi and her boyfriend of two years Jack (whom neither of them liked), Lexi had been excitedly telling him how she got into Columbia but he had clearly asked her to stay closer to go to the same college as him.

Shockingly it was Santana who had had to hold Brittany back to prevent the blonde dancer bursting into their daughter's room and confronting Jack about his selfish behaviour.

Santana and Brittany had had a very unique arrangement whilst they were in university. Brittany stayed in Lima for one more year but Santana had gone to New York. Despite hundreds of arguments, failed trips and endless tears the two were reunited the next summer for two glorious months.

That was when Brittany had informed Santana of her choice to take up a place in New York for Dance but when Santana had dug just a tad deeper into Brittany's life. It's not like she had to go very far she knew where Brittany kept her diary she discovered that her girlfriend wanted to go the L.A but was too afraid of breaking Santana's heart.

It only took three days for Santana to plan an ultra romantic date, get the ring polished and print out an acceptance letter for L.A.

Years later Brittany still loved to tell the story of how Santana had pushed her to attend her dream school before proposing later that night in the same spot where they had their first kiss. That part was slightly difficult because Santana had had to break into their primary school and climb up to the top of the slide. It had seemed much larger when they were kids. The most cramp proposal ever turned into many happy years of being fiancés before tying the knot in New York when they were 23.

So far Brittany had toured numerous times with some of the most famous artists in the world and Santana was a partner at one of the best up and coming law firms in the state of New York.

It was because of how she and Brittany had turned out that Santana knew Jack and Lexi would survive if they had enough love and commitment, no matter the distance. The Latina's opinion of Jack had plummeted to new lows now.

"It's my decision though." Lexis voice cracked a little as she flopped onto the sofa opposite where Santana was chopping.

"If you're so decided why are you in here defending it to me?" Santana sighed.

"Because you and Mom have been so unsupportive about this and I want your approval." Lexi huffed.

"Well you're not going to get it unless you convince your Mom and I that going to State instead of the school you've been rabbiting on about for over a year is where your heart truly lies." Santana rolled her eyes at the sap pouring out of her mouth thankful that Rachel wasn't around to hear this.

"It is where my heart lies." Lexi insisted but Santana narrowed her eyes.

"Bullshit mija, I think you are making a decision based on the wrong information." Santana said calmly but firmly.

"You can't call bullshit on my dreams Mami, this is what I want." Lexis voice was now cold.

"You think you can fool me with your little act mija I know you and you're not being true to yourself." As Santana finished she could see very familiar tendrils of fire burn in her daughters eyes, this was going to get nasty. She looked at the clock, Brittany eta 2 minutes.

"You think this is an ACT, that I'm just _lying_ to you about what I want, why the fuck would I do that? I've changed my damn mind okay." Lexi snapped rising angrily from the sofa.

"Why would a bright eighteen year old girl change her mind from her dream school to a shitty alternative in less than a week huh?" Santana snapped right back chopping faster.

"Because I want to be closer to Jack, is that such a crime?" Lexi finally admitted in a small voice.

"So instead of encouraging you to follow your dreams and fulfil your lifelong goals Jack is chaining you to his side." Santana stated angrily.

"Hell no this is my decision." Lexi screamed.

"The hell it is!" Santana matched her tone easily.

"It IS!" Lexi was vibrating with rage.

"Sure sure, if he loved you he would be telling you to go to the school you worked your ass off to get into." Santana bit out barely holding it together, where was Brittany?

"The fact that he wants me to stay is proof that he loves me!" Lexi argued.

"Not true love then." Santana dismissed the comment casually riling her daughter up even more.

"**You know what! I couldn't give a flying FUCK what some asshole lawyer thinks of my relationship. You think just because you're paying for this that you can tell me what do to do well you can't you're not even my real mother for christsake!"**

Everything froze.

Time seemed to slow down as Santana watched the hurtful words leave her daughters mouth. Brittany, who had come in just in time to hear the end of the conversation, dropped the shopping barely registering the wine smashing against the wooden floor.

Wine bled out of the bag as the seconds stretched into infinity and the family stood frozen.

The Latina had a painful death grip on her knife but was no longer aware of anything but Lexi's stunned expression.

"Please tell me I didn't just hear those words leave your mouth Alexis Maria Lopez Pierce." Brittany whispered into the tense silence. Lexi's chin dropped to her chest under her parents horrified and hurt stares.

"Because the daughter I have would never have said those things about the woman who raised her, who... who..." Brittany paused her windpipe constricting, the hurt and anger welling up inside causing a lump in her throat. Though one look her wife's devastated face sent fire running through her veins and words spilled out her mouth almost instantaneously.

"The woman who cried on your first day of school because she didn't want you to be without us, stayed up all night every time you had even the slightest fever, worked full time and took care of both of us to give us food and a house, persuaded me to lighten up about curfew and boyfriends, buys the cereal you like even though she has to drive an extra 30 minutes to a different store because the old one stopped selling it," Brittany paused for the tiniest second for breath before continuing.

"Held you while you cried after your gym teacher told you that you weren't a natural dancer like me, went to the gym and got said gym teacher transferred or fired I'm not sure." Brittany paused again because tears were streaming down her daughters face she still continued though knowing this had been coming for a while and she needed to get this out.

"Your _Mami _does all your laundry, cooks all your meals, picks you up from parties, cleans up after you've thrown up and she's put you to bed, helped you with your homework every day just like she did with me because you inherited some of my brain."

"When you were ten she spent hours picking out the perfect bike then didn't say a word when you smashed it up in a fit of rage because you couldn't ride it, which is exactly what your Mami would have done when she were that age by the way. Then she bought you a new bike and taught you to ride it properly."

"While we're on the subject of teaching she taught you to swim. Taught you to speak. Taught you to eat. Taught you to sing. Taught you to keep your head up under pressure. Taught you to be yourself no matter what. Taught you to fight just in case. Hell even taught you to love."

Brittany stopped, breathing heavily and on the verge of tears herself.

"Maybe you've forgotten but if you haven't you may as well because you just told her that doesn't mean squat to you anyway because you're not BIOLOGICALLY related to her." The younger blonde all out sobbed at this and the knife Santana had been holding clattered to the countertop.

Brittany eyed her wife's pale face and tight grip on the edge of the countertop wondering how much damage Lexi's words had actually caused, knowing Santana, a shit load of damage.

Lexi was whimpering now and was swaying on her feet not looking up from the floor.

"Lexi look at me." Brittany demanded harshly and was relieved when her daughters eyes obediently snapped to hers, with this connection forged the dancer pushed on with the speech she had started and was now flowing within her. She just hoped these were the right words to use.

"How would you feel if she told you that you're not her daughter because I was the one who carried?" Brittany took a tentative step forward now feeling Santana's eyes on her as well. The latina was probably concerned about what this would do to Lexi, even with the coldness Lexi had just show her Brittany knew Santana would still be looking out for her daughters well being but Brittany would not stop yet.

"Do you even know why it was me who carried you?" Lexi shook her head a fraction. "No, well guess what it was because my wife, the love of my life and the person whose heart you just broke, was so scared of messing you up somehow that she opted to be my protector during the pregnancy so she could look after you the best way she knows how." Brittany said determinedly, she was in control now.

"Do you even realise that she has saved tirelessly for over twenty years so you could go to any college _you_ wanted. Yes, since before you were even conceived. So can you really blame her for being concerned about you not following your dreams because of one boy, if it's meant to be then it will happen but following your dreams is more important than one person in your life." Lexi's eyes were wide and Brittany was getting angrier and angrier as she went over the low levels Lexi had sunk to in her quest to defy her own wishes.

"Your Mami, oh wait no, is she just the random woman who raised now or would prefer to start calling her by her first name?" Lexi's face fell dramatically and more tears streamed down the younger blondes pale face. Brittany felt she was too far gone to stop now and carried on hoping this would have the right affect, Lexi had to know it was unacceptable to deny a family member that way.

"Anyway she and I went to opposite sides of the country and look where we ended up. I'm not saying we didn't struggle but if you love someone the last thing you do is tie them down all you want for that person is for them to be happy." Brittany smiled a tiny bit now but it faltered when her next words came to her. She was completely focussed on her daughter and getting her message across.

"I can assure you that you are too much like the random woman who raised you to ever be happy without exploring the world, if you hate it then fine you can transfer but you have to take opportunities, chances and risks or you will not be living."

"What you did you thoughtless and unkind and we thought you were a better person than this Lexi." The backdoor clicked ominously shut and both blondes snapped their gazes to the now empty kitchen area. Lexi cried out and took a hesitant step towards the door only to be stopped by Brittany moving into her path.

"It's pointless to follow her right now." The older blonde said gravely watching Lexi continue to sob.

Brittany lowered her voice and her anger dissipated slightly in the face of so much confused and self hatred.

"Did you know that she knew this would happen, she's had nightmares about it ever since you were born, she assumed you would never love her as much as you loved me. Is that true?" She asked lovingly already knowing the answer.

"N-no, never, not at all." Lexi stumbled over her words her chin trembling she looked borderline hysterical snot running over her mouth and her eyes swollen comically begging her mother to understand how sorry she was.

"Oh Lex, come here you idiot." Brittany shook her head opening her arms. Lexi didn't hesitate to dive into the warm embrace and Brittany cradled her daughter's head stoking one hand through her hair and running the other over her back.

"I-I'm so sorry." Lexi sobbed into her mother's shoulder despairingly. Brittany simply shushed her and hoped that they could all work through this tomorrow. Today was a write off.

* * *

_**This will probably be a two or three part story. If I get enough reviews etc I might make it into a story or longer.**_

_**Hope you liked it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

After the blow out Brittany sent Lexi to bed and cleaned up the kitchen. She figured scrubbing every single surface until they squeaked against the cloth would give Santana enough time to settle. Over the years Santana had mellowed out immensely and found ways to control her extreme emotions.

However Santana Lopez was and always would be a hot tempered chica so when things eventually overwhelmed her the woman would find a place to stew in them until she was ready for her wife to hold her.

Checking the clock once more the blonde nodded and exited the house making her way towards her hopefully calmer wife. Five minutes later the dancer spied her love leaning against the railings overlooking the small duck pond in the park. Staying put for a minute she ran her yes up and down her obviously tense and cold wife, she wished she had brought another coat. Luckily she had a habit of wearing Santana's to work, it may have been far too small but it smelled so damn good Brittany could never help herself.

"Hey you." Brittany said approaching slowly and leaning against the railing, she faced away from the pond to avoid being distracted by her favourite animal. She draped the coat carefully over Santana's hunched shoulders never touching the brunette.

Santana stayed silent, her expression morose at best as she stared out into space. She pretended her forearms weren't hurting from resting on the cold railing for close to half an hour. In a way it was the only thing keeping her grounded in the moment, in a situation she had dreaded from the first moment they decided Brittany would carry their child.

The two remained silent for a long while, Santana hurting and Brittany waiting for Santana to make the first move. Granted the blonde had to force herself not to wrap Santana up in her arms and never let her go but she knew better. Santana had always needed time and it had always been worth waiting for the Latina to spill her guts.

Not many people understood how Santana responded to feelings of hurt especially on a deeper level. This coping mechanism had started long after Santana's Abuela had stabbed Santana's heart. It had taken Brittany years to get Santana to talk about it, not admit that she wanted the relationship back, but really talk through all of Santana's childhood experiences with her grandmother.

After that breakthrough Santana had invented her own process, she would come to this place and Brittany would respect her wish to remain silent and brooding for as long as she needed. Eventually though the blondes presence always proved to have an event akin to gravity on the Latina's emotions and body, pulling Santana towards Brittany each and every time.

"Is she alright?" Santana's reluctant voice broke the silence at last. Brittany smiled, even with all of the pain Santana still cared more than anyone.

"Honestly she feels terrible." Brittany admitted watching Santana's face; it remained stoic so Brittany decided to continue. "She didn't mean it San." At that Santana face visibly crumbled and tears streaked down her face.

"Then why the fuck did she _say it?_" Santana breathed blinking rapidly to clear her eyes. Brittany almost smiled when she noticed Santana unconsciously scooting closer to her.

"Did you mean everything you said when you were 17?" Brittany pointed out and Santana froze. The blonde saw an opportunity to give her second speech of the night.

"Let's see, you told Rachel she should move to Israel, Quinn was teen mom, tubbers, Mercedes was wheezy so basically you called her fat for the whole of high school, Finn had dodgy nipples, and... and I can't think of any more because there are hundreds to choose from. But I know you didn't mean any of them not to mention Lexi has said that she hates us loads of times!" Brittany finished knowing that her lack of eloquence was completely irrelevant because Santana could pull the message out of her weirdest words.

"She just sounded so, so definite." Santana argued.

"So do you when you're angry, she gets that from you in the first place." Brittany shrugged as if it was obvious.

"She made it very clear she doesn't get a damn thing from me." The brunette frowned painfully finally pressing herself into Brittany's side with a sigh. "Good thing I was prepared for this eh?" She asked rhetorically.

"You didn't deserve what she said and I'm sure she will make it up to you in every way." Brittany tried to reassure her devastated spouse and wrapped her arms around the sniffling woman.

"She can't." That took Brittany by surprise and she turned Santana's head to face her securing their eye contact with her hands on cold cheeks.

"Don't you dare say that Santana Pierce-Lopez, Lexi loves you, you are her idol and it hurts me to hear you be so mean, she made a mistake." Brittany told her with watery eyes. Santana tried to divert her gaze but Brittany held on to her firmly, this would not destroy them.

"Sorry." Came the quiet reply, only then did Brittany let go of her lover's face and allow her some space once more.

"Thank you, she's our daughter San, she's going to say things she doesn't mean sometimes, you can't take it all to heart." Brittany said and the second the words left her mouth she knew she'd sparked something.

"Oh right so every time I piss her off by being her parent she's allowed to cut me like that and I'm supposed to just take it." Santana shouted her eyes burning bright with tears of anger.

"No, because she's seen how much she hurt you and there's no way she'd ever do that to you again." Brittany cried and Santana stepped away shaking her head a disbelieving expression marring her features.

"I didn't." A small voice croaked from behind Brittany. The two adults spun round to find their daughter standing a few feet away her makeup running down her face.

"Mami I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean it I swear on moms life!" The teen sounded hysterical as she looked up to meet her parent's eyes. Her hands were tucked into her coat pockets and her feet shuffling uncomfortably against the grass.

Santana stood open mouthed not knowing how to act or what to say. When she was Lexi's age there's no way she would have had the balls to apologise to someone like that and it threw her. Brittany on the other hand was smiling hugely, very proud of her daughter.

"Mami say something?" Lexi begged.

"On your mom's life?" Santana looked torn between sceptical and shocked. Brittany rolled her eyes, of course Santana would want to protect her before accepting any apology.

"Too much?"Lexi asked tentatively.

Santana almost smiled, her lip twitched at least and Brittany's heart jumped with hope.

"I'll get back to you." Santana said moving into Brittany who threw her arm around her wife's shoulders. Lexi took a couple of steps towards them, uncertain.

"I'm so sorry." Lexi repeated and Santana heart broke a little at the look on her daughters face. She looked so vulnerable. Wordlessly she held her left arm out Brittany copying her motion and Lexi leapt into the joint embrace as if she were a three year old with a scraped knee.

Although Santana knew it would be a while before they were back to normal she admired her daughter for being brave enough to follow Brittany and apologise straight away for what she said. A small voice broke her out of her thoughts once more.

"I love you guys." Lexi's voice wavered as she squeezed her parents harder burying her head against Santana's shoulder knocking the coat off her shoulders in the process.

"We know." It was Brittany who replied because Santana had too many tears in her eyes to respond.

"Will you forgive me Mami?" Lexi asked tearfully not pulling her face away from its safe haven.

"Yeah Mija but we have a bit of a way to go yet okay?" Santana replied. Lexi nodded against her and the family smiled together.

* * *

_**Part three will be up next week, let me know if you liked this one xxx**_


End file.
